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China stomping GeorgetownA story broke recently about the Georgetown Hoyas basketball team getting into a brawl with a professional Chinese team during an exhibition game. After seeing the pictures and video, it’s safe to say the Hoyas got stomped out. The first thought I (@JaySpeakEasy) had was, “How are they going to show their faces when they get back to D.C.?” You and I both know the Hoyas squad is bound to get stepped to when they return. In anticipation for that, The Urban Daily and I came up with five excuses the basketball squad can use to save face. If you haven’t already, check out the video of the fight below.

5. “They’re wack! The only reason they wanted to fight is because we were whoopin’ that ass during the game!”

According to news reports, The reason the Chinese basketball team got physical is because they are a professional team and they were getting their asses handed to them by some college hoop stars. Despite that being true, that won’t deter stick up kids from testing the collegiate team. They don’t care why you got beat up. All they care about is if they can jack you themselves.

4. “I didn’t fight back because I wasn’t sure if they knew Kung Fu and I wasn’t taking the chance.”

Yes, it is very stereotypical to think all Asian people know martial arts. However, if you are trying to save face political correctness gets thrown out of the window. Not all Asians know Kung Fu, but quite a few do. You never know which one will samurai kick you in the throat for getting brolic with them. Pop off with caution because you might wind up getting mashed out, as the Hoyas soon realized.

3. “You think what happened to us was bad? You should have seen what we did to them.”

Reports have clearly stated Georgetown’s coach had his players walk out with nine minutes remaining in the game. In spite of the truth, saving face isn’t about honesty. It’s about saying and doing what you need to in order to keep people off your back. The best way for the Georgetown squad to do so is to lie. We all saw them catch a beat down, but what happened after the cameras stopped rolling? Georgetown better spin a tall tale in their favor.

2. “Oh, so you never had your ass whooped before?!”

The fastest way to get a regular heckler is to call into question their own toughness. As we all know, most people pop off at the mouth and can’t back a damn thing up. If this doesn’t shut somebody up, you might need to break your foot off in their hind parts. I’m not saying you should, but you might want to if the excuse doesn’t work.

1. “I think the Chinese basketball team is affiliated with the Triads!”

For those who don’t know, Triads are the most ruthless gangsters in the Asian community. They are highly skilled in martial arts, have astounding marksman abilities, and are cloaked in mystery. When it comes to different gangs, it is widely known Italians kill the man and leave the wife and children out of the dispute. Hispanic gangs will kill the family three weeks before they get you, just to prove a point that no one is off limits. The Triads are the gang that will blow up a whole football stadium if they think you’re there. They don’t play. Therefore, upsetting an affiliate wouldn’t be the wisest decision for the rest of Georgetown University. The Triads will wreck the place. I have to watch my back just for mentioning their name in this post.

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